Thursday, September 11, 2008

Thursday, I hate my Mother

I am 25 years old, and my mother constantly buys me clothes. She buys me clothes on ebay, from catalogs and online stores. She lives a state away from me, where she has no friends except her boyfriend, and she works out of her home, so I assume she does it because she's bored and because she feels guilty about not being closer to her grandchildren and me.

I've told her politely that she doesn't need to buy me stuff and that she should just save it for Christmas
, but she won't listen.

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't want her to waste her money (she is not wealthy) on stuff I really don't like or need. It's starting to make me uncomfortable.

Oh, you poor little shit. Your biggest problem is your Mom likes to do nice things for you? You should be so lucky. Some Mom's raise (or don't) latchkey kids, or they drink a lot, or hit their children. Your Mom is so lonely that she thinks of you constantly, and this is one way of showing that. And the fact that she isn't wealthy shows that she would gladly spend her money to make you happy so you can look good at the sorority get-down or bar crawl, or whatever your ungrateful ass does. If I was your Mom i would send you anthrax in an H&M box. Then you could truly separate nice surprises in the mail to a quarantined room at Good Shepard. You are going to make such a bitchy wife.

2 comments:

Chucklyn said...

Um. So. I've decided that Dr. Kenny is like Dr. Phil.

... sans balding head, retard accent, circular logic, general douchebaggery and fake credentials.

Oh wait. No. You have the fake credentials in common after all.

And The Gout. Can't forget The Gout.

Famous Quotations said...

Your site has won a Blog of the Day Award (BOTDA)

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Your award will go live sometime on Wednesday September 17, 2008

Thank you,

Bill Austin