I have been married for five years, and we have a wonderful daughter, who is 3 years old. My wife and my daughter are my life, and I consider myself a very happy man.
The other day, my wife left her e-mail account open and I noticed an exchange of messages to and from a previous boyfriend of hers. This man cheated on her, then dumped her.
I learned that he e-mailed her one night when he was drunk. To my dismay, she replied to him in a very warm tone, encouraging him to get in touch more often. They have exchanged a few messages.
He is married, too, but along with exchanging information about mutual friends he also includes many compliments to my wife. She replied to him, saying how happy she is that they are back in touch. Several times she encouraged him to keep writing.
In my opinion there is an honorable, responsible way to do things. If he wants to hear how she is doing, he should do it in the open, and his wife and I should be aware of it. I feel destroyed and emotionally betrayed.
Am I overreacting?
The other day, my wife left her e-mail account open and I noticed an exchange of messages to and from a previous boyfriend of hers. This man cheated on her, then dumped her.
I learned that he e-mailed her one night when he was drunk. To my dismay, she replied to him in a very warm tone, encouraging him to get in touch more often. They have exchanged a few messages.
He is married, too, but along with exchanging information about mutual friends he also includes many compliments to my wife. She replied to him, saying how happy she is that they are back in touch. Several times she encouraged him to keep writing.
In my opinion there is an honorable, responsible way to do things. If he wants to hear how she is doing, he should do it in the open, and his wife and I should be aware of it. I feel destroyed and emotionally betrayed.
Am I overreacting?
No. You are under reacting.
Emotional betrayal cuts just as deep as physical betrayal. She must pay.
Start by sitting in the dark for hours until she comes home. When she gets home and turns on all the lights she will be uber frightened to see you coldly, and human-less-ly glaring at her. Ask her who she has been talking to on her email. Before she has a chance to respond, break that fine china her Aunt Patti gave you for your wedding. Make sure your body language says "I'll waterboard you at any given moment." Make sure she cannot type again, and when neighbors ask her why she has a cast on her hands, you say that she has carpel tunnel syndrome.
Find where this guy lives, and beat the shit out of him in front of his family. Take his wife, because your wife can't be trusted anymore. You could even be trading up. Now you both get what you want. Compromise, it's what it's all about.
