Friday, November 14, 2008

Friday, Fantasy drunk

Last weekend I drank a little too much and passed out on the floor of my room. Normally, your friends would take this as an opportunity to write on your body or put shaving cream on your face. Not my friends. They noticed that my fantasy football league was open on my computer and proceeded to release every player on my roster. Add to it that there is significant money involved, and I was in first place. Is this the most unforgivable "prank" that can happen to guy? Really, they could have slashed my tires and I would have been less mad.

That is fucking hilarious.
Throughout time, men have abused other unconscious men who fail at drinking. It's almost a rite of passage, and we have all been the abuser, or the abusee. This, however, takes things to a whole new level. First of all, you always close something as valuable as your fantasy football team especially when you have friends as roommates. You kinda have yourself to blame.
If anyone ever did that to me, they would always pay for it. Suggestions for revenge*:
1. Get on their email and write a family member pretending to be the person that you are out to ruin. Tell them you went out to a gay club, and that you liked it. That it felt dirty. Sexy dirty.
2. Wake them up in the middle night and tell them that police were called, and that their parents are dead. You can use the cold sweat that will ensue to water your plants.
3. Buy a ton of exotic ants. Cover their room to the point where somebody would ask them if they are the Keymaster. (This may backfire depending on how close your room is)

* Revenge may lead to counter-revenge