Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday, Spider Conference

Dear Dr. Kenny,

Recentlty I attended a news confrence that my friend was speaking at. Half way through the speech my friend was giving I noticed a spider on his shoulder. Now, knowing that my friend is extremely allergic to spider bites I instinctively threw my shoe at the bug and ruined the news conference. Later I found out that the video of the conference was all over the internet , making my friend look like a total d-bag. Dr. Kenny how can i mend this relationship???

signed,Al-aquiar Habizidannit

Finally, my first question from Al-qaeda.
Where was this conference taking place? A Cracker Barrel? A Cracker Barrel in the Amazon?
And another self imposed question, who decided that shoes are the number one choice of items to be thrown at a press conference?
While spider bites are a terrible terrible terrible thing, being so deadly and all, I'm sure you were just trying to be a friend in your own redneck way. Explain this to your d-bag friend. If he cannot accept an apology from his banjo/jug playing, meth using, Davy Crockett hat wearing buddy, then you will have the satisfaction of knowing he really is a douchebag.
You get bonus points for instinctively throwing shoes. I'm glad that's the first thing you think to do. I'm also glad you were not a firefighter on 9/11.
(Insert picture of man throwing Keds into a blazing fire)