Monday, June 1, 2009
Do you think that once someone is in the "friend zone" it's possible to move beyond that? Or am I doomed to a lifetime of being "the friend"?
Step by step game plan:
1. Go out to a bar. Talk about what you normally talk about, whether it be that Mitch Hedberg joke you two always bring up, or how you cannot stand your friend Stacy and how she won't shut the fuck up about her meticulous details of her wedding plans.
2. Make sure Andy gets drunk.
3. Tell Andy you like him. Even if he doesn't like you back, he will have alcohol in his system. Odds are he will at least sleep with you. This will soften the blow that you are in the friend zone FOREVER!
Men are more oblivious when it comes to sending signals. So, if you are sick of hearing how many gals he bangs, tell him you don't want to hear it, or that you like him.
Being friends is important first, so you got that out of the way. If all else fails, sleep with his twin brother, or best friend. This will make him speak up if he really likes you.
Once again, I am right.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Why Guys Dump Girls They Dig
Nothing is more upsetting than when a guy you darn well know is into you pulls the plug. One man gets to the bottom of out-of-the-blue breakups.
Chances are, you've had at least one breakup that left you wondering, "What the heck just happened?" The guy dug you, you dug him, and the whole thing felt destined for a fabulous future — at least the foreseeable one. Then, out of nowhere, he bailed on the relationship.
So what went wrong? The sad truth is, maybe nothing. Here are five completely ridiculous reasons guys kick you to the curb. Warning: For the most part, it ain't pretty.
1. The Timing Is Off
Women get serious when they meet the right man. Men get serious with whomever we happen to be dating when we're finally ready to settle down. That means after every other aspect of our life is in order — whether it's finishing grad school, finally pulling down a good-size paycheck, owning a car outright — or when our friends start dropping like flies (that's guyspeak for getting married).
But if you catch a guy before he hits that magical stage of his life, then he's liable to bolt — like Patrick,* 28, who dumped Bridgett after two years, then got engaged to the next girl he dated after only 10 months. "When I was with Bridgett, all of my friends were single and I was still an intern with nothing going on in my career. So every time she'd bring up our future together, it felt like she was jumping the gun," he says. "I didn't break up with her because she was wrong for me. I ended it because I didn't want to commit to anyone right then. But by the time I met Elizabeth, I was in a settling-down frame of mind."
I have never thought about it like that, therefore, it’s untrue. Did you ever think that you got engaged to the next girl, because the one before it was a total pain in the ass? This should really be categorized as “By Comparison.” I have come out of terrible relationships to girls that were laid back, and thought holy shit, this is easy? Only to realize 8 months down the line they turn into a blurred image of the one before.
2. We're Not Finished Playing the Field
Men are natural-born one-uppers. If there's a possibility of upgrading what we already have for something better (that'll make our friends drool), we say, bring it on! So we wind up always wondering if you're really as good as it gets. (I know, scumbag mentality.) "Whenever I meet a new hot chick, I consider what it would be like to date her, even if I have a girlfriend at the time," says Andy, 30. "The grass is always greener. No matter how great his current girl is, a guy doesn't want to feel like he's missing out."
In addition to our opportunistic tendencies, most guys feel compelled to put as many sexual conquests under their belts as possible. "I admit it — I know the exact number of girls I've slept with, no mental calculation required," says Dan, 29. "That's how aware I am of how many notches I have. And I'd never commit until I felt like I'd experienced enough different women."
Every guy's definition of enough is different, so there's a chance he wrote you off just because you didn't come late enough on his own personal hit list. The moral of the story: Until we grow up, mark everything off our sexual checklists or have too many friends convince us that we can't do better than you, the flight risk is real.
Um, sorry, but my dick does not have a bucket list. If I manage to find a girl that I’m compatible and happy with, I’m not going to get rid of her because my penis has a counter on the side like a fucking Skip It. Women, stop dating frat guys that consider Dane Cook the next Richard Pryor.
3. We're Fixated on the Worst-Case Scenario
From the times you chastise us for leaving a wet towel on the bed to those nights you rip through a pint of fudge ripple without stopping to breathe, we file each incident in a mental folder labeled "Evidence She'll Change for the Worse." We flip through that file whenever we're trying to decide if we want to hang on to the relationship. Blame our married friends who took the plunge before us, but many single guys are hyperaware of what could go wrong down the road.
Even if we're crazy about you now, we panic that you'll pack on the pounds, want sex only once a month and nag us day and night. So we secretly flag certain things we're scared might be a harbinger of bad things to come. "I've seen it happen to too many of my friends," says Elliot, 29. "All they do is complain about how the sex takes a total nosedive after they get serious with a girl. So sometimes, even if the woman I'm dating is a saucy little minx, I freak out and bail."
This one is true. A woman’s attitude will break down like Chris Mullin’s career. If I have gained any knowledge about women, it’s that they are ticking time bombs. The only difference is to what degree, and how long before you build a panic room in your house just to get five minutes away from somebody that lovingly points out everything you do that’s wrong. After being in a worthless 5 year relationship I can almost sense when a girl is about to make a scene. Kind of like when Jeff Goldblum decided that a dinosaur park is dangerous a couple scenes before the T-Rex attacks the Ford Explorers in Jurassic Park.
4.We're in Like, Not in Love
It's harsh but true. In fact, it's probably the most common reason we bolt. Just because a guy likes you a lot isn't a guarantee that it will evolve into love. And we're surprisingly intuitive when it comes to figuring out a girl's potential on this front. "I stayed with one woman for two years because the sex was great and she never pushed the issue, but I knew the minute I met her that she wasn't The One," says David, 30.
So why do we invest any time in a relationship that we know will ultimately end? Because we're able to live in the moment for a while and chalk it up to a good experience. But once you show that you're way more into us than we are into you, we'll dump you out of guilt. "I dated this girl for about a year, but as soon as she started using the L word, I had to end it," recalls Jay, 29. "It was hard. I cared about her and didn't want to hurt her. But I knew that if I stuck around, she'd have been happier at first but miserable later on. After all, she deserved to be with someone who loved her as much as she loved me."
Also true. Women have watched enough Mandy Moore movies to know that if you are dating someone for three months, you will marry him!!! This is where I kind of get teased by my friends. Most of the reason I don’t date people for very long is that women are rushing to put a label on everything you do. Whatever happened to hanging out for awhile and seeing what it evolves to? Those are the best kind of relationships, because you actually get to know the person; so you can avoid surprises dropped on you like, “I know the Hawks are on, but this is when I watch The Hills.” If you have already jumped into a relationship it’s harder not to take away the remote and call her a bitch.
5. We're Too into You
Just when you thought it was all bad news, here's a hard-to-fess-up admission: Guys are protective of their emotions. Translation: We're scared spitless of being hurt. So, if we start to feel like we're getting into a situation where we'll be destroyed if you dump us, we might launch a preemptive strike and yank the plug first.
For Gary, 27, showing his girlfriend of two years the exit felt like the only choice. "She was the first girl I was serious with, and I didn't like letting someone have that much power over me. I was starting to feel emotionally needy, and that was uncomfortable for me," he recalls. "So I ditched her to save myself!"
Sounds crazy, but cut us some slack. Think about how vulnerable and paranoid you feel when you're nuts about a guy, and realize that we go through the same thing with girls we really like. But our friends aren't as good at helping us get over an ex as yours are, plus being openly heartbroken makes us look like wusses. Nope, it's better to act like a winner before you turn us into a loser, which is when our natural self-preservation may come into play. Before the real humiliation and pain assail us like a plague, ending the relationship seems like a good option.
I guess that works. I don’t know. If I’m really into somebody, I let them know that I like them and keep the rest to myself. There are times to show a gal that you like them, but going overboard scares them away too. Another technique is showing that you care, and then at other times like you don’t even notice. This drives women completely nuts and their confusion turns into obsession. The tables thus become turned. So anything you give her positive will feel magnified in her mind, and you still stay a dream boat!
Side note: Nobody says “wusses” anymore. That’s so 90’s.
Are You About to Be Jilted? Signs that your man's getting ready to bail:
His cell phone is always off. He might be spending time with someone he doesn't want you to know about ... or he just doesn't want to make himself available.
I am one that believes if you are spending quality time together, I don’t want it interrupted. This is where technology sucks. If I haven’t seen you all week and we are watching a movie together and you keep texting someone that is ruining our night, stay the fuck home. I either turn off my phone or keep it silent for the most part. I have been accused of hiding calls or texts, which is beyond ridiculous. I just have manners.
He's reluctant to make plans. If he hems and haws about committing to anything — even if it's in the semi-near future — he's thinking about making a break for it.
This depends on what the schedule is like. Mine is pretty busy, so if I can’t do one day I’ll try and make it another day……If I like the person. If I am not feeling it anymore, I’m not going to try. The excuse of “Different schedules” is french for “I don’t like you like that anymore.”
He's meaner. The passive-aggressive breakup is a guy standby. Some men intentionally turn into a-holes to make sure you break up with them.
Yeah...This isn’t fun to do. But it happens. Ignoring phone calls and texts is another mean way to go about it, but so effective. Girls do it too, so don’t think I’m a total asshole.
He's not into sex. He doesn't want to feel connected to you — or he's getting his needs filled somewhere else.
Yeah...Cosmo got one right.
In conclusion, men are shit sometimes. However, a lot of these situations are just the occupational hazards of dating. Rejection, overcompensating, meaningless sex. It’s kind of a nightmare. Dating is terrible, but to quote Patton Oswalt, “It’s a fun nightmare, and then there are boners in it somehow.”
I also learned that Cosmo got almost half of that right. They have been misleading women for years, i.e. Don’t grab testicles with kung fu grip. I don’t want my future accidents coming out as little Corky’s.
She acts as if I am dumb in front of the entire class! I try to not let it get to me, but it's starting to really hurt me! Help!
Are you fucking shitting me?! This is your problem? Everyone thinks their teacher is mean to them, and sometimes you will get a vicious one, because they have real problems they are taking out on you. Real problems. Wait until you get a mortgage, or when your ex-boyfriend knocks you up right after high school because you thought that sex would bring him back to you. Wait until your landlord raises your rent, even though somebody got robbed at gunpoint ten yards outside of your front door. Wait until you are in the unemployment line just begging to God to give you the courage to do the car in the garage suffocating thing.
At first I thought he was just tired from his long work hours, but then I started to wonder.When I call his office after hours, he rarely answers. He'll call back -- sometimes on his cell phone, and he is always "getting coffee" or "in the vault" when I call.
One time I even confronted him and asked if he was seeing another woman. He looked as if he was about to burst out laughing and said, "I would never want another woman."
He is usually honest, so I believed him, but I've started to wonder if I just asked him wrong or missed something in his answer.
I recently took a trip with the kids and when I came back I found out from friends that he hadn't gone to our church while I was gone. I found a flier in his Bible from a different church, and because he has always been a devout Baptist, I can't imagine him visiting a church from another denomination.
I started thinking it must be "her" church!
Would it be appropriate to call the pastor of this other church and ask if my husband came to church with anyone?
What do you think?
The body and the blood of Christ-ina!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
This week my husband and I separated. I saw Jack this morning. Before things went too far I told him that I had herpes. Dr. KENNY, he practically had a heart attack -- and ended it on the spot!
The thing is, what I said wasn't true. I just could not think of another way to make him stop being available so I could concentrate on my marriage. I feel like such a coward, and I am heartbroken. Not only do I miss Jack terribly, I also can't bear the thought that someone who made me feel so happy would just turn his back on me.
Would there be any point in telling him that I lied, or did I do the right -- albeit cowardly -- thing?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
While i was doing some laundry tonight I happen to watch an episode of Supernanny. You know, the British chubbier version of Mary Poppins without the voice. Anyways, she had to deal with these two 7-8 year old boys. These kids acted like they escaped the portal of hell. They would throw shit at the nanny and kept trying to kick and punch their Dad in the balls. It was awful. However, I have a few of my own techniques of dealing with a child.
1. Good old fashion violence. Sure it’s looked down upon these days, but it needs to come back in a big way. These little fuckers run around the house like Marines that are on their third tour. Just vile, awful children who don’t have respect for anything. Let that kid know with a belt or a good hard spanking (The one that even stings your hand) that you don’t take any of their crazy shit.
2. Let a clown chase them around the house. If there is one thing that a child fears, it’s clowns. I still fear clowns. Persuade some guy that has had some "hard times" down at the Boys & Girls Club with a 30 pack of Old Style to dress up like a clown and strike some fear in your child’s heart. Go to work feeling good knowing that your children will be like savages as they run for hiding spots dodging the clown that stalks hallway to closet for the next 8 hours.
3. Don’t buy them food. Kids love food. And when they don’t have it, they get weak like the rest of us. But children don’t have the means to provide for themselves. This is where you exploit their weakness. When their little systems shutdown, their last thought will be I wish i had cleaned up the toys I am lucky to have.
4. Pitbulls love hateful children. Oh, so you like to hit mommy and daddy when something doesn’t go your way? Take it out on Bruno. Bruno likes to take his fun doggy aggression out on your eye sockets. You’ll wish you never refused to clean up the egg coloring kit you spilled on the floor.
5. Pretend you are dead. Get some fake blood and don’t get out of character. There is nothing that achieves clarity like a first brush with death. They will be wishing that you are alive and will feel sorry for everyday they were a little bastard.
If these don’t work, I don’t know what will. I can honestly say I don’t want children. I just came up with 5 ways to torture your child! I’m sure I’m being flagged for some parent awareness group. The patience; I cannot imagine. My respect to all my friends and family that are parents. I can’t imagine the sacrifices, and to my knowledge your kids aren’t from hell. High Five!
I have a feeling these new breakthrough methods will replace over prescribed ADHD medication.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I have been by Gloria's side so frequently that her family has "adopted" me. I help with her care and am the only one of her friends and co-workers who has visited since she took this turn.
My problem is, since I have been around Gloria's family, I have learned that nearly everything she has ever told me is untrue. She has flat-out lied about many things -- big and small -- that weren't even necessary to lie about. I feel like I don't know my friend at all and never did.
As sad as I am to see Gloria suffering and dying, I am hurt and angry that I was repeatedly deceived by someone I thought was my friend. I keep telling myself it shouldn't matter now, but the more the truth comes out, the harder it is for me to go over there and help.
Is it bad that I was overjoyed for a second that I got my first AIDS question? Then you went and ruined it with some sad shit and being selfish...
I got myself into a lot of trouble when I was 18. I am now 32.
Because of the trouble I was in when I was younger, my probation was revoked 10 years ago and I had to turn my son over to my former in-laws. The boy's father had no interest in taking care of him.
I have been fighting my ex-in-laws for my son for the last seven years. During that time he has been bounced around from one ex-in-law to the other.
I have started school to obtain a doctorate in psychology. I have a 4.0 [GPA] and recently purchased a four-bedroom home.
I have changed dramatically from the way I use to be. My ex-mother-in-law, whom I have not had contact with for about seven years, does not want to look at what I have done to better my life.
I want to know if you can give me any ideas to express my thoughts to her.
I do not know what else I can do that would show her how much my life and my circumstances have changed.
I like that you think getting a child back is like returning something back to Target. It's quite a process. You have to pay for the shit you did, no matter how many "Grape Job!" scratch and sniff stickers you get on your psychology papers. If I were to go back and claim every girl that I broke up with just because I thought we were ready to give it a second go round, that doesn't mean they would want to see me again. (The flip side: I would be elbow deep in vag and would no longer be able to do this blog.)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
8 Things Guys Say They Hate about Women But Secretly Love
"I hate when my girlfriend works late, but I secretly love how motivated she is and how much she cares about everything she does."
"I tell her I hate it when she whines, but it's actually cute. It makes me feel needed and important and manly — like I can provide for her and that will stop her whining. I should add that it's a once-in-a-while pleasure."
"I would be bummed out if she canceled her Us Weekly subscription. I hate having to see Spencer Pratt's ugly mug all the time, but it turns out to be the perfect magazine to read in the bathroom."
I would be bummed out if my girlfriend read US Weekly. And Scott, I'm pretty sure you have a tribal tattoo or secretly whack off to Keanuu Reeves. The perfect things to read in the bathroom are Sports Illustrated, Rolling Stone, a book, or a laptop. I prefer the laptop because it is an endless source of reading.
"I always complain about how my girlfriend expects me to do all of the 'man stuff' around the house, like replacing light bulbs and taking out the trash, but I secretly like it."
Ah. You spell Matt with one 'T.' Euro trash.
I actually like a self sufficient woman. Men like confidence and independence as well. Men also like when women take out the trash in boy shorts and a see through 80's shirt.
"I hate when my girlfriend watches shows like The Hills and The City, but recently I find myself secretly loving Monday TV nights."
Might as well say fuck you to Mom and Dad for paying for your MBA. When you watch those kind of shows, you are actively turning into Terry Schiavo. And who is this girl that makes you watch this shit? Oh, you met her at Hooters? Ok then.
"My girlfriend has a tendency of stating the obvious. What I mean is that she will tell me to do something that I am clearly either in the process of doing or going to do. See, you girls always assume that we are eventually going to screw up and do something stupid, so you feel obliged to remind us at every opportunity.
It drives me nuts, but I guarantee that the moment she stops paying attention to what I'm doing or if I'm doing it the way it should be done, I start feeling like she just doesn't care! So after a grunt or two, I go and fetch her to ask her opinion. Go figure!"
Yeah, I just love a nag. I'm pretty sure I would not miss nagging. I'd rather have a bad hangover, because I know that will eventually go away. This is a really bad myth that MSN is trying to spread. On behalf of the male race: This is bullshit. James has to say this stuff so his girlfriend will give him oral sex every Christmas.
"I would be bummed if my girlfriend stopped planning out our evenings several days in advance. It makes it easy for me because I don't have to plan anything, but it is annoying sometimes how organized a person can be."
"I would be bummed if my girlfriend stopped planning out our evenings several days in advance. It makes it easy for me because I don't have to plan anything, but it is annoying sometimes how organized a person can be."
Why All of the Questions?
"I'm around a lot of women who are very worried. It seems as if everything you do is followed by a question: Why did you do that? Are you all right? You sure you're not hungry? I always talk about how I hate these incessant questions, but I know deep down if they stopped I would feel less important. It's good to know that people care about you enough to ask those questions, even though they might be annoying."
Also, I can not say thank you enough to my friends, family, anonymous, people that have sent in questions... Your kind words lately have been overwhelming. I'm glad that people can get joy as they virtually watch me punch my ticket to hell. Love you guys, need you guys..
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
We have told Harry repeatedly that games are supposed to be fun, but he seems unable to grasp the concept. We do not know what else to do. Can you help?
I sure can. I can help you.
Don't get me wrong. George and I know what we like and dislike in life. We talk about things, have serious discussions and deal with whatever comes our way. But for some reason, my sister insists that by now my boyfriend and I should have had at least one good argument. She thinks it's weird that we haven't, and says we are "trying too hard" to make each other happy. She says George and I are ignoring things that could cause unhappiness.
My sister is younger, married, works full-time and has three kids. I think she may be secretly jealous of our relationship. So I ask you, DO all couples have to argue or have disagreements?
Friday, February 27, 2009
My daughter is an intelligent, attractive and outgoing college student. She has lots of friends, but the party scene at school does not fit her personality. She's a more down-to-earth type. She has dated but has never had a serious long-term boyfriend. She says most guys her age seem too immature.
We are very close, and recently she confided in me that she has been having a relationship with one of her professors for more than a year. He is a single, never-married man, more than 15 years her senior. I have made it clear to her that I feel this relationship is a big mistake. The fact that he was willing to enter into a romance specifically forbidden by the university is a big red flag for me.
My daughter feels that she is as much to blame as he is for this connection.
She is in love with him and believes they will have a life together.
She would never forgive me.
A case of Jeramiah Lasky v. Kelly Kapowski!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Please tell me how to solve the dilemma about who should control the functions of the car.
BaHHH! I can't stand those people. Whether it's been my Mom or girlfriends, they never shut up. They think that running their mouth will run the car. "Hey girlfriends from the past, didn't you back up in to a lawn mower and pulled into traffic because you were putting on your makeup? And you want to tell me not to do a U-eeeee?"
Yet, when my friend Lauren drives, I'm very handsy about music, constantly switching the knobs so it doesn't feel like the temperature is at Backdraft degrees, and I'm twitchy and ornery that I'm not driving. But, I'm allowed to be hypocritical. I rule these pages.
If your capper husband can't stand the way that you drive, tell him to ride the Pace Bus. They have a van special for crips that bitch. On top of it, a reduced fare. As a guy that shells out $4.50 a day riding the CTA, I'd say that's more than fucking fair.
If that doesn't work, buy a motorcycle. I'm pretty sure his medical condition won't let him ride on a motorcycle. This will confine him to his home and he will probably turn into the older father (Robert Duvall) from Sling Blade. You know, that part where Sling Blade Bob Thorton confronts his Dad for killing his little brother all them years ago. The point is, he will just rot for being an asshole that bitches more than drive time radio.
If all else fails, get divorced and become a cougar. I dunno, whatever.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
We both pitch in and do laundry, housework and yardwork.
Because he is so helpful, we are able to spend my days off together. This arrangement seems fair to both of us.
The problem is that we are good friends with another couple, "Jim" and "Jane," both retired.
Maybe it's because I've had three hours of sleep, but I'm already irritated by your question. All I can picture in my head is this sweaty face physically murmuring words out in some drastic tone that sounds like dolphins communicating.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Recentlty I attended a news confrence that my friend was speaking at. Half way through the speech my friend was giving I noticed a spider on his shoulder. Now, knowing that my friend is extremely allergic to spider bites I instinctively threw my shoe at the bug and ruined the news conference. Later I found out that the video of the conference was all over the internet , making my friend look like a total d-bag. Dr. Kenny how can i mend this relationship???
Finally, my first question from Al-qaeda.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
The ungrateful train, alllllllllllllllllllllllllllll aboard!!!!!
She was married before, and I know she has wounds from that relationship. This makes me want to be as understanding about her reactions as possible.
The problem is that she snaps at my parents, my brother and me, but will not (even when directly and sensitively asked) disclose what is bothering her.
However, she will continue to make it clear that she is angry. These tantrums (for lack of a better word) make everyone uncomfortable, but we (my parents, my brother and I) are afraid to approach her openly for fear of causing permanent damage to our future relationship with this woman.
Is there a win-win situation that can clear the air without burning a bridge?
Oh God, this is probably a woman that I'll be tricked into marriage someday.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I "hook up" with many guys, sometimes two in the same weekend. I bring them home from parties, but they aren't strangers. I know them from school.
Since my best friends and I moved into our apartment, I have brought five different guys home with me, but I have not had sex with any of them. The other day, one of my friends told me I'd better be careful that I don't get a reputation. I was surprised because I thought you had to actually have sex with a lot of people in order to get a bad reputation. I'm just having fun. What do you think?
Well good for you. I'm glad that you look for character instead of basketball height and wallet.
Monday, January 26, 2009
My friend has an eating disorder, and she also has a mother who tells her and her sisters that having a flat stomach is extremely important.
I have also struggled with my own body image, but I have learned to embrace my flaws (plus, I was raised differently).
When she criticizes herself, how do I as a friend tell her to start loving herself more? Her behavior is starting to bring me down, and it makes me sad that she's so negative about her body.
Stop blaming your (Good attitude) friend for bringing you down. Only you can control how you feel. You are probably a big fatty that wants your friend to chow down at Arby's with you. Go back to the ocean, Kirstie Alley.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I had an argument with my girlfriend "Amber" recently. It was over a "guy issue." I won't go into details because we did end up working it out, but Amber said something during the blowup that has me worried. She said that sometimes my anger gets out of control and concerns her. Two other girls who were with us at the time agreed with her. That floored me.
This is the first time I've heard about this. I mean, Mom sometimes calls me "Tammy Temper" -- and has accused me of "throwing fits." But my friends never called me on it. In the fight with Amber, she said my fists were clenched and she was afraid I might hit her. (I didn't think so.)
I don't want to scare people. I value my friends. I look forward to going to college and making new friends and having new experiences. I don't want to have a reputation as a hothead. Can you help me?
WELL, you also have an ego problem too. Ohhhh, you're so popular. That will change. Wait until you try and join a sorority and the initiation is to drink a coffee cup of urine from the fraternity around the corner. Hope you feel popular then, big shot.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
One night I was at her place when she received a phone call. Trish made it short and sweet and hung up. A few minutes later, I asked who it was, and she told me it was her boss. I know how she answers the phone when it's her boss -- and it wasn't him. When I said, "That was NOT your boss," she admitted it was one of her boss's clients, but said nothing was going on between them.
When I first met Trish, she mentioned that a client had come in one day, had wine and cheese, then leaned over and kissed her. It's the same guy that called -- and he's married.
I am very hurt. We have both been cheated on. I don't think she has cheated, but she lied to my face. My first instinct is to dump her, but I love her. What should I do?
Plain and simple. Leave. Get out of there.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I'm happily married with four wonderful children. I have a great husband and a great career.
Recently I received an e-mail from my ex-boyfriend from high school. He is an officer in the Marine Corps. He broke up with me 16 years ago.
He is now married to the girl he dumped me for all those years ago.
I opened up my e-mail and was surprised to learn that he has been looking for me all this time and wanted to apologize for what he did.
He said that he was sorry for pushing me away and wanted to find closure.
This man broke my heart when he left me for another girl and enlisted in the Marines. My life changed after that, and I am totally over him.
And now, after 16 long years, he is apologizing?
We have talked on the phone several times. I know I shouldn't talk to him, but I think that he is trying to get back together with me.
Talking with him brings back memories. I realize that he hasn't changed, and I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
Whenever I need to talk to him about something affecting our relationship, he gives me the cold shoulder that lasts for days.
I am really in love with this man, and I gave up my home, friends and a great job to be with him. I am not sure how committed he is to me, and I wonder if I am wasting my time on a man who is just not capable of appreciating or loving anything.
He always tells me there is a possibility that he might be with another woman. He likens it to the odds of an asteroid hitting Earth—not probable but possible. This just doesn't seem like what a committed boyfriend should tell me. He even went as far recently as to tell me, "Under certain circumstances, I could be with another woman." I got really upset and asked him to explain the comment. He shut me out and gave me the cold shoulder for days.
He makes me feel so insignificant in his life and tells me that I should know how he feels about me because he let me move in with him.
Should I walk away?